Birthday post

Above: Jumping on a frozen lake in northern Ontario this past winter. Photo by my sister.

(UPDATE March 30, 9:22 am: Thanks to those who have posted birthday greetings here, Facebook, e-mail, phone and in my Livejournal comments. Jeff took me to Mildred's Temple Kitchen and I loved it. You can see photos of some of the lovely gifts I received from friends in my Flickrstream. Including a gift from Walter that made me cry.)

If I could go back to my 20-year-old self and asked myself what image came immediately to mind upon hearing the phrase "47-year-old woman," I like would have responded with a heartlessly unflattering description involving polyester pants, wrinkles and hair curlers.

Now that I'm 47, I have to be amused at how wrong I was. Well, at least about the polyester and curlers.





I find that the older I get, the further way the concept of "old age" shifts for me. I suppose I've always associated "old age" with a certain atrophying mindset, when a person convinces themselves that they're no longer capable of taking on challenges and seeking out new experiences. In that context, I never want to reach old age.



In terms of simple numbers, however, I sometimes get tired of the tiptoeing done around the idea of getting older, as if it's something one is supposed to be embarrassed about, like using the wrong fork at the dinner table or accidentally wearing a t-shirt inside out in public (not that I'm, ahem, guilty of either).



I do admit that I usually don't broadcast my age on social networking sites, partly because I'm worried about identity theft but also because part of me is (probably overly) worried that editors might be negatively influenced while considering my manuscripts.



But overall, I don't tend to be overly self-conscious about how old I am. I'm happier now than I was 20 years ago. Physically, I may not be able to do everything I could back then but I was never a super-jock anyway, and I find other ways to push and challenge myself.



Back in school, I thought I had all the time in the world. Now, I know how easy it is to try to do too much and spend time with too many people. One of my favourite quotes, from Esther Bucholz: "Others inspire us, information feeds us, practice improves our performance, but we need quiet time to figure things out, to emerge with new discoveries, to unearth original answers."



These days, I guard my time jealously. I'm more selective about the friends I spend time with. I don't invest time in friendships in which the other person doesn't value the friendship as much as I do.

Jeff and I gave up cable tv about five years ago, and neither of us have regretted it. We still watch some recorded tv shows and rent movies, but it's always a deliberate choice rather than "just because there's nothing better to do." Instead, I do more reading, songwriting, painting and other creative activities.



Photo by Gord Gibson.

I'm happier in my relationship with Jeff than I was 20 years ago. We've been through the hearts and flowers "honeymoon" stage early on and several rough bits since. The rough bits, as horrible as they seemed when we were going through them, have helped strengthen our relationship.

The honeymoon stage was like an appetizer. Yummy while it lasted but for me, it's all about the main course. :-)



I'm more in love with Jeff than I've ever been. We'll have been married 18 years come this August, yet I still find myself swooning a bit inside when he walks into the room or smiles at me.


Photos by our niece last year.

We recently chatted with a couple who has been married nearly twice as long as we have, and I asked them what was the main factor that helped make their marriage a good one. They told me that they had learned NOT to try to change the other person.



In our case, I'd like the add the following advice: Treat your partner like your best friend. Sounds obvious, I know, but I've really had to remind myself of this over the years. "Would I be treating my best friend like this?"

I've also found that spending time pursuing our own interests away from each other is important. Jeff and I spend much of our time together, but we've each found it just as important to also have our own time as well. We've never been one of those "joined at the hip" couples who do absolutely everything together.


Photo by Sibylle Machat.

Today, however, we're spending the whole day together. Jeff's taking me out for brunch. He won't tell me where because he wants it to be a surprise. This afternoon: whatever I'd like to do. I haven't decided if I'd rather see The Watchmen or just hang out at home, reading and snoozing and maybe playing a boardgame. I'm going to my sister's tonight for a family celebration.


Photo by Beckett Gladney.

I already feel pretty spoiled. My friend Luisa took me out for my birthday on Friday night, and my friend Cathy took me out for lunch yesterday. I've been receiving phone messages and e-mails from friends -- one of my favourites is the musical message left by Tom & Sue Jeffers & Dave Clement. :-D

I'm going to spend the rest of my birthday offline, to enjoy the day with Jeff. Hope you're all having a good day, everyone! Especially my friend Katy, who is celebrating her birthday in Germany today.

Some Consonance highlights (including finding a long-lost cousin)

Many thanks to the concom, volunteers and guests at Consonance. I had a wonderful weekend -- not only was there NO SNOW, but I got to hang out with friends I don't normally get to see very often.



The guests were fabulous! Erica Neely was the Toastperson at Consonance. Not only did she do a superb job at being emcee, but she gave a great concert.



Erica had an unfortunate fall on Saturday night, spraining her ankle, but insisted that programming continue as scheduled and enlisted Bill Roper as her Stunt Toastperson. I admired Erica -- she must have been in a lot of pain, but she kept a cheery face, not wanting to take away from attendees' enjoyment of the concerts. I'm not as sure I could have been as brave. You can find her report on the incident here.

Mary Bertke was the Interfilk Guest at Consonance this year, and I enjoyed her concert. Kudos to Interfilk for choosing Mary as a guest! I've enjoyed watching Mary grow as a musician and singer over the years, and she's been a real inspiration to me while learning Irish tunes. I've also admired the way she actively pursues her interests instead of just talking about wanting to pursue them.



Vixy and Tony (Michelle Dockrey and Tony Fabris) were the Guests Of Honor, and performed and number of songs from their excellent album, Thirteen (you can hear sound samples from their new album here.) Vixy and Tony won the 2008 Pegasus Award for Best Performers; they pour a huge amount of energy into their concerts, and their performances are always polished/professional. They're going to be guests Van Der Filk in the UK next year, along with Gwen Knighton. Wish I could go...sigh.



I was excited to hear that Playing Rapunzel (Mich Sampson & Marilisa Valtazanou) was coming to Consonance; I'm their Number One Fan, after all, and rarely get a chance to hear them perform live because they continue to insist on living in the wrong country.



They've just released their first CD: Abseiling For Beginners; you can hear samples here. I did some of the artwork for the CD, and love how Anke Teschke designed the cover and interior.



The concert was fantastic and, as usual, at least one of their songs made me cry. And hey, I got to participate in their concert! They needed someone to hold up the lyrics for a singalong song and they picked me yaaaaaaay!

:-)

My biggest personal highlight from Consonance weekend: rooming with Joey Shoji.



Joey and I have known each other a long time and we used to be snailmail penpals many years ago, but we very rarely get a chance to just sit down and chat one-on-one.



Well, we certainly made up for that at Consonance. And the more we talked, the more obvious it became that we had more to talk about. One weekend is way too short. The answer is clear: Joey has to move to Toronto.



I even had a dream during the weekend that Joey and I were related, attending the same family function...so I've decided that Joey must be a long-lost cousin. I'm sure that if we both traced back our family trees, they'd intertwine at some point.

One thing Cousin Joey and I both have in common is that we're adventurous eaters, willing to try almost anything.



Jeff really likes Joey, and hung out a bit before he left the hotel. He and Joey did a Scotch tasting (ugh...) as well as sampling some Absinthe (even more ugh...).

On Saturday morning after I had woken up but was still lying in bed, I felt an earthquake. I was SO EXCITED that I felt like running to Joey's bed and shaking him awake to tell him, but I restrained myself until I knew he was awake. Then I -did- rush over and sit on the floor beside his bed, babbling excitedly about how cool it was to feel an earthquake on my first full day in California, that I looked it up online and found out it was 3.5 on the Richter scale, and so on.

Joey was a very patient roommate. :-)



It was also fantastic to see Beckett and Paul again. Many thanks to Paul for watching the boys so Beckett and I could go off and catch up as well as talk about our graphic novel project.



You can see some great photos that Beckett took at Consonance.



Another highlight was meeting Beckett's mom, who is just as charming and feisty as her daughter:



Check out this old photo of a group called Syntax:



Generously provided by friend Tony Fabris, this photo helped me exact revenge on Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff for their role in their Barracuda / Debbie Ohi song. Heh.



I've asked JeffB's permission to post the lyrics in Blatherings.



I turned part of the photo into a t-shirt that I wore when JeffB, Maya and I sprung our She Plays Rock Band song (co-written parody) on Vixy in open filk (the other half of my Revenge). Jeff and Maya donated a recording of the song to Interfilk.

Heh. Jeff B's reaction when he saw my t-shirt for the first time was priceless.


Other random Consonance highlights...

Seeing fellow Canadian Brooke Lunderville again:



Hearing Kristine B. perform in open filk with her parents:



Seanan McGuire's impression of me:



Marilisa's Greek dancing lessons on Sunday:



John O's smile:



Drawing with artsy-types on Sunday morning:



Thanks to Seanan for letting me try out her markers. Seanan is someone I'd love to get some one-on-one chat time with someday.

Speaking of people I've been hoping to sit down with...it was great to finally get some time with Debmats:



Handing out Postcard Project cards (a project by German filker Sib Machat) and seeing what people came up with. The drawing below is by Beckett Gladney, for example:



You can find out more about the project at http://www.in1000years.com/.



For me, Consonance was purposely (and wonderfully) low-key, with much more of a focus on hanging out with friends than making music. I'm only going to two filk conventions this year: Consonance and FilKONtario. The latter is going to be much busier since Allison, Jodi and I are the official Filk Waifs, so I knew that Consonance was going to be my only chance this year for doing a relaxacon.



I -so- enjoyed just wandering about the convention, catching up with friends and being able to have conversations longer than a few minutes (which is the usual case). The tradeoff was that I missed a lot of open filk and some of the programming, but it was worth it for me.



I never did make it to open filk on Saturday night. I had actually taken out my flute and portable snare to go downstairs, but then Cousin Joey and I started talking. :-)



But I figure there will be plenty of music at FKO, plus Allison and Jodi will be there (yay!).

You are all coming to FilKONtario, aren't you?



Anyway, apologies for the brevity of this convention report (believe it or not, this IS brief for me); I know I've left out all kinds of cool moments from Consonance. More from the rest of our California trip coming soon.

LJ comments

Coolest "Save The Date" EVER

A pirate-themed invite from my friend Adam English (website being revamped) and his lovely fiancee, Jolene. Pics posted here with permission.

The wedding date? Talk Like A Pirate Day, of course.

Lissa's cake

Check out the cake that my friend's mom made for her birthday! The design is based partly on a Livejournal icon I made for Lissa ages ago:



I'm hugely tickled that something I drew got put on a cake. Lissa has the coolest mom.

If you tried to get into Blatherings earlier today and couldn't, by the way, it's because I stupidly let my Blatherings.com expire (!). Yes, I know. Everything should be back now, I think.

Postcard Project: In 1000 years, what will the world look like?

Got a package from my friend Sib, and it included a bunch of postcards like the one above. What a cool project idea!

If you go to http://www.in1000years.com, you can find out more about Sib's postcard project and how to contribute. I'm going to be bringing a bunch of the cards to Consonance in a couple of weeks, so feel free to ask me for one!

More info about what else Sib's package contained in a future Blathering...