Secret Club advice

[Feb.10/2008: Updated with more Secret Club advice as well as a link to my new Babylon Five Virgin blog]

Above: Tom Jeffers and Sue Posteraro. Sue and Tom came over for dinner last night. After pigging out on Sue's decadent chocolate-iced lemon bundt cake, we listened to some unfinished tracks from the new Dandelion Wine CD. They sound FANTASTIC. Jodi, Allison and I are excited about possibly participating on some of them!

Then Sue and Tom went through some of their concert set for Balticon (where I just discovered that Naomi Novik is one of the guests!), and then spent the rest of the evening playing and singing music.



And this is why I originally was attracted to filk; I love making music with other people. Not for performing in public or for showcasing my own songs (I didn't write songs back then and was terrified of performing in public), but just for the pure joy of it, especially music circles where no one minds if someone else sings along or improvises on other instruments.

Now that I write songs and perform with Urban Tapestry, I find a whole other level of enjoyment and personal growth within the filk community as well, but I will still often seek out circles at filk conventions which are more big singalongs and jam circles rather than "performer showcase" rooms; Steve Macdonald and Dave Clement are great at nurturing these types of circles.

The Secret Club: A Follow-Up

Last Thursday, I posted about The Secret Club that no one wants to join and invited people to submit their own nuggets of life wisdom. Thank you so much to everyone who shared. I know some of you have lost loved ones of your own, and not too long ago.

Sometimes someone will ask me how I can share some of the highly personal experiences that I do, considering how painful some of those memories can be.

My answer:

I do it because I'm hoping that someone out there will find it helpful. So that they'll know that they're not alone, that there are others who have lost someone they loved dearly and survived with their life optimism intact. Because maybe some of what I say will help guide those who aren't in the Club but know someone who is.

I was deeply moved by many of your posts, so am including them below so that they won't be lost in my Livejournal archives, and be more easily found by people seeking this kind of advice.

Blush cards!

Above: One of my letterpress card designs launched by Blush Publishing at the Spring Fair in the UK this past weekend, woohoo! The cards come with a deep red envelope that matches the ink in my card signature, and there are currently four designs (more coming).

Blush Publishing consists of Mark Moran and Alison Hopkins, a couple who live in a small North Wales village with their young daughter. They feed each card by hand into their Victoria printing press where the inked image and handset type are pressed into 100% mould made cotton paper. I can't wait to get my samples!

I'll let you know when the cards are available in stores and online. Unfortunately Blush doesn't yet have a North American distributor (if you're interested, please do let them know), but I've written to the Etsy people and they say it's ok for me to sell them in my Etsy store. The cards will be available in the UK, however.

I'm going to compile a list of stores carrying my cards and will post them periodically in Blatherings.



Yes, I know my Etsy shop is still empty. I'll be adding original paintings eventually; please sign up for my Etsy mailing list to be kept up-to-date on when I add new items. In addition to the occasional original painting, I'm also going to be selling prints, cards and buttons with my artwork, as well as some more pottery (created by Luisa, painted by yours truly). However, I'll only be doing this periodically...more like once a week or every two weeks rather than every day.

I've been feeling stretched a bit too thin lately and am in the midst of taking a hard look at how I spend my time. I've opted out of blogTO; as much as I enjoy writing for the site, it just doesn't pay enough to justify the time I spend on the articles. I should be spending that time on my own fiction writing projects instead, and posting interviews/reviews on my own blogs where I'd be earning more money through Google Adsense. I'll still be submitting the occasional article to blogTO, but for the pure fun of it than for pay. They're a great bunch of people, and I love the site.

I'm also going to drastically cut down on the number of low-paying or non-paying illustration projects. I enjoy drawing, and so it's hard to say no when someone asks me to do a cartoon or drawing for free or almost free if the project sounds fun. But these have been gradually accumulating and my writing has suffered, and I'm realizing that I have to better about Just Saying No.

So if you're planning to ask me to draw something for free, please don't be offended if I have to politely decline. :-)

I'm also in the midst of testing out various greeting card services. I do so many cartoons and Blather-illos for fun; I figure it's about time I try to make a bit of money from them. I've tested out Zazzle; the card quality is great, but it's bit pricier than I'd like. I'm currently testing out the cards from Greeting Card Universe and Cafepress. If you know of any other greeting card service I should try out, please let me know! I'll be posting an overall report. Eventually, I'd like to settle on one place where I can set up a card shop. Ideally, it would be a print card shop where I just have to submit my illustrations and not have to worry about the packaging and mailing. I know that means less profit, but the saved time/hassle is of greater value to me...I could spend it writing.

Thank you to those who posted in response to my Secret Club advice survey. Some of your responses made me cry (in a good way).

Anyway, I'll be posting a follow-up in Blatherings. I also haven't forgotten about the music video survey follow-up!

Have a great weekend, everyone. Tom Jeffers and Sue Posteraro are coming over for dinner and music tonight, and I'm so looking forward to a mellow evening with friends. :-)




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The Secret Club

Today is my brother's birthday. In my mind's eye, I can only imagine him as he was at the time of the accident nearly fifteen years ago...he'll always be 27 years old to me.

Greg McMullan's death reminded me all over again about how unexpected life can be, and how you should never take time for granted.

Everyone handles death differently, and I would never say "I know how you feel" to someone who has lost a close loved one. But I do think that there's a certain awareness one gains in the experience that can't be learned second-hand or through books.

It's like a secret club -- one that no one wants to join but most do, eventually. And when a new member appears, you feel like hugging them and whispering in their ear, "I'm sorry you had to join the club."

Everyone takes away something different from the experience. Some take away lifelong bitterness. I purposely chose to take away something more positive; it helped me deal with my grief and to add meaning to what had happened.

I keep harping on what I learned throughout my Blatherings to the point of cliché because they're not a cliché to me and in my opinion, this particular knowledge CAN be learned by non-Club types:


And these are:

1. Embrace life fully.

2. Take control of what happens in your life; be an active participant, not a passive observer. If you're unhappy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

3. Never take anything or anyone for granted.

4. Don't get in a rut. Purposely seek out new experiences. It's good to step outside your little comfort zone bubble every once in a while.


I didn't really take these to heart until I joined The Secret Club when my mom died of cancer, and then even more so when Jim and Diane died. My life has been much enriched as a result. Thing is, you -don't- have to be in the Club to figure any of this out.

So here's a survey for anyone else out there in The Club (or even those who aren't): What nuggets of life wisdom would you add to this list? Serious AND silly nuggets welcome. :-)

Thanks to those who posted birthday greetings for Jeff yesterday! He enjoyed reading all of them and (*gasp) even posted a comment himself.

Thanks also to Sibylle for her recent package, which made me laugh out loud when I opened it:



Yes, it's an EVIL SQUIRREL CANDLE! She and Steve Macdonald found it while browsing the Christmas market in Hamburg. "We thought it'd be great for burning in effigy..." :-D

And CONGRATS to my friend Rand Bellavia -- he and Adam English have been invited as the International Guests of Honour at Axxidental, the UK filk convention next year! Richard "Hitch" Wheatley will be the UK Guest of Honour.



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Happy birthday, Jeff!

It's Jeff's birthday today, woohoo! Please feel free to post a birthday greeting in my Livejournal comments section; I'll make sure he sees it.

The photo above: I think this cake was in celebration of his one month old birthday. His parents didn't decide on a name for him right away, but they nicknamed him "Spike" (volleyball related, I think) temporarily.

I'm glad they decided not to keep the nickname.

Here are some Jeff pics from the archives; I've also posted some in Jeff's birthday pic Flickr set.



Above: Jeff in a canoe made by our friend Danny Gibson (a wedding gift from my dad-in-law).



Above: After a gaming session at Alias (I think). Jeff's on the top right.



Above: I used our friend Gordon's very nice camera to take the photo above at a laser regatta.



Above: Jeff having a refreshing ice bath at the cottage.



Above: Jeff with our friend Parki. Parki's wearing my old cow cap.



Above: A photo I took of our group having lunch in the Kraus Hotsprings near the end of a gruelling but incredibly soul-satisfying canoe trip down the Nahanni River. Jeff's second from the left.

Below: A cartoon I sent in for CITY-TV's Breakfast Television valentines' contest about 18 years ago. I ended up winning the contest...and had to break it to Jeff that he and I were going to be on live television Valentines' Day morning, and that we had to be there at *6:30* a.m. He had had no idea I was entering the contest.



Jeff didn't actually see the poem above until Ann Rohmer (who was co-host at the time) read it aloud to him on live television. HAHAHA! The prize consisted of a limo ride to the Chestnut Park Hotel, a nice dinner, and one night's stay at the hotel. The limo never showed up, so we took a taxi but still had a nice dinner and hotel stay.

Jeff asked me not to enter any more contests where he'd have to wake up so early to be on live television.

Also see 42 Things I Love About Jeff.

Happy birthday, sweetie. :-)





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Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

Above: heading across a frozen lake to the cottage this past weekend.

Last night, I went to the Spice Girls concert in Toronto.

I blame my friend Craig. He, Jeff and I were trying out the Winterlicious menu at the Autogrill when he jokingly suggested we check out the Spice Girls concert. I took him up on it.

My main reasons for doing so:

- Because I've never been in the Air Canada Centre before.

- Because it's been a long time since I've been to a pop rock concert.

- Because Craig asked.

- Because I was curious. They were the first major British pop music phenomenon of the mid-90s and no matter what you think of their music, you can't deny their influence on pop music culture and marketing.

Jeff (not surprisingly) opted out of our Spice Girl adventure, so Craig and I went without him. We got our tickets at a drastically reduced price, probably because the show had already started (we missed about 10 minutes).

BlogTO has a great post about the concert as well as photos, but I had a somewhat different perspective. I was unfamiliar with most of the songs (except for their cover set), don't own any Spice Girl albums, and the bulk of my Spice Girl knowledge comes from conversations with my friend Allison, who teaches grade school so was witness to the Spice Girl craze at its height.



Despite my Spice ignorance, however, I had a ton of fun. The Spice Girls had quite a few male backup dancers, an impressive light show, parts of the stage that went up and down for interesting entrances and exits, rhythm steam effects, exploding glitter confetti, and made creative use of the various media screens. Plus I'm a sucker for girl groups. :-)

But I got the biggest kick out of the energy in that place. It seemed like everyone around us was deliriously happy, dancing and waving and singing along on the lyrics. The Spice Girls themselves exuded confidence, benevolence and seemed to be having fun on the stage. I realize that things may be very different once they're off-stage and our seats were too far away for us to see the expressions on their faces, but their energy was contagious.

So Craig and I had fun dancing and yelling along with the rest of them, though I admit to plugging my ears when the screaming escalated beyond a certain decibel level, usually when Posh Spice had a close-up on the tv screens. Is this extra popularity just because she's married to David Beckham?

And wow, were there a LOT of cameras and camera phones in that place; I could see a zillion glowing screens wherever I looked. I had asked Jeff to take my camera home because I figured photography wasn't allowed, but I was WAY wrong.

I'm not about to go rushing out to buy any Spice Girls albums but I have to say, they put on a good show.



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