Looking up

I was out for a walk a few days ago, listening to one of my audiobooks (Bill Bryson's A Walk In The Woods, which I am -so- enjoying), when some impulse prompted me to look up and I saw about forty white balloons high in the sky, floating away.

I thought briefly about grabbing my iPhone to snap a photo but the balloons were moving too quickly, so I just stood and watched. I wondered where they had come from, and whether they had escaped by accident or by design. In only a few seconds, they were just bits of white against the blue, as if someone had tossed a handful of froth up into the sky.

When I couldn't see the balloons anymore, I started walking again, thinking how easy it would have been to miss seeing those balloons if I hadn't looked up. They were just a few moments in an insanely busy day, but they were the kind of moments I will keep with me.

I really need to look up more often when I walk.

Twitter groups for writers

For writers on Twitter:

I've created a group called Writers Who Blog About Writing. Because the main page has a member list with websites, this is a great way for all of us (and other people) to find out about each other's blogs.

If you're a writer on Twitter who blogs about non-writing topics (or who doesn't have a blog at all), I notice there's also a general writers' group on Twitter.

Instructables and Gifts For Writers

I just discovered Instructables, a site where you can find out how to make or do all kinds of interesting things with community-contributed instructions. Try typing something into the search field -- be warned that this site is a potential HUGE timesink!

I spent the weekend working on gifts for our nieces and nephews. Anyone who (like me) is hoping to make as many Christmas presents as possible instead of buying them should definitely check out this site. Continuing on the theme of scaling back Christmas, Julie has posted instructions in response to a recent Blathering about how she made 30 "make your own cookies" gift bags in two hours.

Also, if you're looking for affordable gift ideas for a writer friend, please do check out my Holiday Gift Ideas For Writers, Librarians and Bibliophiles list.

Scaling back Christmas revisited

Thanks for the feedback in response to my Scaling back and cutting costs at Christmas post. Here's what some of you said:

From Sib:
"I used to make things myself … I started out with handmade calendars some years ago, then made people CDs for Christmas (mostly with poetry I read, edited and then put together in individual variations that I hoped were to the taste of the recipient) but those didn’t seem to work too well … I don’t know if I gave them to the wrong people or poetry just sinks inevitably, or I am just really not good at this, but I don’t think people liked them. … so this year I am a bit stuck for ideas. I think I might go back to calendars, but those are not exactly cheap, so it’s not a good way of saving money. I don’t know yet!"

From Peter:
"I’m not scaling back this year, because my economizing and scaling back all dates back to the winter of 1999 when my ex’s and my debt issues hit the wall. We got serious about economizing and living within our means, and getting rid of $30,000 of credit card debt–and I continued living that way ever since.

My ex, being one for absolute solutions, declared that we should just stop giving gifts entirely. I wasn’t so quick to cut off my family from gifts, but it was pretty clear that something in the giving had to give. So I went for some guy-baked treats. So now I give everyone in my family a batchelor-recipie goodies (peanut butter chocolate-chip rice krispie treats) and a home-made music CD. It costs maybe a couple of bucks per person, but it gives the illusion of being a “personal gift from the heart,” rather than just cheap. A win-win solution!

Now things have loosened up a bit, and I could afford to buy something useless from a mall, but it’s a tradition now, and time spent creating (if you can call stirring a pot of molten marshmallows “creating”) is more pleasant than the same time wandering through crowded stores with a deer-in-the-headlights expression, wondering what the heck to buy for family that I see less and less frequently as the years pass."

From Sherman:
"I've always found that homemade, personal gifts are the best, no matter the occasion. A friend from college almost every year has sent a gift package with handmade ornaments. THAT's lovely, to my heart."

From Allison:
"I’m hand-making a bunch of my gifts for this year, too. Like you, I just settle in for an hour or so (in front of the TV in my case) and work on stuff. I made up a list of the gifts I need to make and I’ve just been systematically going through it. I enjoy doing crafts anyway, and it will definitely save me money, as I’ve already bought the craft materials, anyway. I will add some tea, coffee or chocolate to the hand-crafted items and voila! Gifts will be done."

From Jeff K:
"Personally, I don’t think gifts need to be given to anyone outside of the immediate family, but it would be a waste not to take advantage of all of the marketing and pick up fancy Christmas gadgets and items, so we usually drop a few thousand around Christmas on ourselves and wrap the stuff up just to play along."

From Julie:
"Between them, my two kids have 41 classmates, plus four teachers (not to mention neighbourhood friends and family friends). Last month I decided that, instead of giving anyone more plastic cr*p, I would do something different.

So I’m packaging up the dry ingredients for shortbread along with instructions and popping them inside little drawstring bags that I have inexpertly sewn from cheap fabric. This way, the everyone get a unique gift, an activity to do, a yummy treat, and a bag to keep treasures in. It’s taking time, but like you I’m doing it in batches in the evenings. I think the cost is $0.50 (US) per piece. Could be even cheaper if you have a fabric and ribbon/yarn stash."

From Vixy:
"I am, frankly, feeling panic whenever I think of Christmas. There is so little money… but there is also so little time. Everything that I know how to do takes time and emotional energy that I don’t seem to have. And yet I need to do something, and the longer I don’t decide what to do, the less time there will be. (Yes yes, I know all the arguments about feeling obligated, but there it is; I have a large and close-knit family, and I can’t bring myself to just not do *anything*.) If I keep up like this I’ll wind up just running my credit card up beyond what I ought… :/"

Goodstuff revisited

Above: I'm trying to get back into my habit of doing a Daily Doodle just for fun.

A while back, I posted about how I tend to be drawn to positive people. Thanks for all the feedback to this post! Here are a few of the comments (and a brief note about why I try to avoid public whining):

From vixy:

I’m the same way, and I try to do some of the same things. It’s not unrealistic at all.

I try to ask myself… it’s usually in my head so it’s not always actually in words, but basically… “What are you adding to the world?” Or, “What are you putting out into the world right now?”

That question has stopped me from a few bad decisions, for instance something I was going to say that I would have regretted later, either because it would hurt someone, or simply because it would wind up bringing me (and those around me) down even more, or because it would have made me look like a bitter, negative person in public. Is what I’m about to do or say adding anything to the world at all other than negativity? Has it got any purpose? Why am I doing this? What am I adding to the world?

Of course, sometimes you just have to vent. But I try to recognize when I’m venting because I need to vs. being needlessly snarky and dwelling on things that I need to just let go.

From Linda Neely:

I spent 37 years working in Human Resources and I got lots of complaining people. I’d been in HR for about 2 years when I got assigned to handle Employee Relations. I saw the same people over and over and finally decided I’d have to do something about it so I startled one of my regular complainers by telling her that she would have to tell me three good things that had happened to her that day before I’d listen to a complaint. I did this for a week with all the people who just came in to gripe. (I didn’t do this for people with legitimate complaints.) Anyway, the interesting thing to me is that after about a week the same people kept coming in but they’d come and say, let me tell you what happened and they’d tell me good things. Eventually I realized that what they mostly wanted was for someone to listen to them. They would talk as eagerly about good things as bad. It’s just that most of them had found that other people were more likely to pay attention when they talked about bad things.

There’s no profound moral to this tale, but what I learned is that my behavior has a lot to do with what other people give me. If the only time I pay attention is when something is wrong. . .

From Jane Garthson:

You are such a positive person, and such a joy to be around, that I can’t remember you saying anything negative. And while some store clerks would be rude to anyone, anytime, surely you bring out the good side in most people you meet. Or the evil side, with filkers, but that is quite different from negative.

I would give anything to have your smile. Sometimes, when I am smiling inside, my facial muscles do not cooperate and I do not look as happy as I feel.

From Michelle Sagara:

They tend to be positive, benevolent personalities

I vote that you grandfather some of us in!

From Andrea:

There have been times, with both Jim and I, that we purposely tell the other person “I am going to vent” and then righteously vent, just to get rid of the energy.

And I’ve done the same, in email to friends (announcing the vent-to-happen first of course). It feels good to get rid of it and then move on *grin.*

I also enjoy friends who have a sense of humor that helps me see what’s ridiculous about a situation. Like when my ex husband wanted to sign our divorce papers on Valentine’s day. I told a good friend that in a rather disgusted tone, and she burst out laughing, because well it *was* funny *chuckle.” (and no, we didn’t sign the papers that day . ..)

From David "Born In The Summer, So I'm A Natural Optimist, Scientifically Proven" Barker:

Nothing “unrealistically idealistic” about your attitude. I do the same kind of personal monitoring about negatives. Doesn’t always work, but nuthin’s perfect.

(I will, but not often, call chronic complainers on it. As hazardous as that may sound, it’s not always the wrong thing to do.)

From Judifilksign:

Your view strikes a chord with me - I, too try to stay positive. I have times when I allow myself a good rant or a wallow, but once it's out, I'm back to my normal perky self.

From maedbh7:

I could write a thesis in response to this. Perhaps in my own LJ, I will :) -H...

I also recently rented a movie -or maybe it was a recorded tv show, I can't recall- in which someone said she tries never to say anything to anyone that wouldn't hold up as the last thing she said (e.g. if she never saw that person again, or if something happened to her). Something to strive for, I think.

It's part of the reason I try hard not to post negative blog entries unless I intend there to be something good to come out of it. I'm aware, especially from life experience and experiences of people I know, that life can end quickly and unexpectedly for anyone at anytime...one of the reasons I do try to squeeze every bit out of every moment.

And suppose I posted a whiny blog entry, then something happened to prevent me from posting again. Do I really want THAT entry to be the last one I ever post? The one that stays online for people to remember me by? As Vixy said above, what will I be adding to the world?

It's impossible to stay positive all the time, of course, and everyone needs to wallow and bitch once in a while. But as Judi says above, just get it out of your system and then come back. :-)