Dudes In Suits

Left to right: John, Walter, Scott, Jeff, me, Iain (crouching).

The photo above was taken a few evenings ago when Jeff and some of his guy friends went out to celebrate one of their birthdays at a swanky steak place. They came back afterward, and I took some photos of them in their classy duds; you can see some of the pics in Walter's Flickrfeed.

I also took a few with my camera:





Then they insisted that I be in the picture as well. There was no way I was going to be photographed wearing my slobby casual clothes, so I rushed upstairs and put on a dress, rushed back down, and Walter set up the self-timer on his camera to take the photo at the top of this page.

We all got changed back to normal clothes and he took another pic:



Thanks for all the anniversary happy wishes yesterday, everyone! I'll post a report and some pics later on.

Anniversary!

Photo credit: S. Truuvert

Jeff and I were married 18 years ago today. We've been through our share of ups and downs over the years but as I mentioned a little while back, things have been "up" for a long time now. I'm happier with our relationship now than I've ever been, and things just keep getting better.

Every marriage is different, but here are some things I've learned along the way and from talking to other married couples. If you're in a happy longterm relationship (married or no), feel free to share your experience as well!

- Enjoy the "hearts and roses" honeymoon phase of the relationship in the beginning, but don't expect this to last forever. As I've mentioned before, this is just the appetizer. The real reward is the main course.

- Talk about the Important Stuff before you get married, and especially before you have kids.

- Don't go into the marriage expecting to change the other person. Once you're married, don't try to change the other person. This advice came from good friends of ours who have been married 50 years.

- Don't take good times for granted. If you're content/happy with the relationship, let your partner know. Don't just talk about the relationship when you're having problems.

- Continue to pursue your own interests. Don't feel compelled to spend every free moment with the other person, or go to every social event as a couple. Jeff and I both have mutual friends, but we also have our own close friends. We've also found that we're solitary souls at heart, and need a lot of quiet alonetime. We don't get hurt if the other person sometimes doesn't want us around (as long as they say so nicely).

- Honesty is good, but beware of too much honesty. If little things bug you about what your partner is doing, think hard before you mention them. If they're important enough, do talk about them but do so benevolently and NOT in the middle of an argument. But if they're little things that happen infrequently, just forget about them and move on. Chances are good that your partner's doing the same. :-)

- Don't be afraid of fights. They happen in all relationships, good or bad. During a fight, try VERY HARD not to drag old emotional baggage into the argument. Try to focus on positives, like what you can both do to prevent the situation from happening again. In some situations, be prepared to agree to disagree; this isn't the optimum way to end an argument, of course, but it happens.

- Don't be afraid to admit when you're wrong. Don't be afraid to apologize.

- Most importantly, treat your partner like your best friend. This one statement overlaps with quite a few of the points above. Sometimes we tend to take our partners for granted and forget this. Treat your partner with respect, no matter how you're feeling or who else is around.

Anyone else have advice to offer? Please do post it!

Allison's Cast

Went to see my friend Allison last night. She and John just came back from a lovely trip in Newfoundland. Lovely, that is, except for Allison breaking her wrist during a hiking excursion! Eek.

Apparently the Newfoundland doctor didn't notice it was a break, and told her she just needed to buy an over-the-counter splint. So she did, and went hiking for THREE MORE DAYS. Back in Toronto, she found out she had an impacted fracture.

I got all queasy when A. described what they had to do to get the bone back in place before putting her arm in the cast. Ugh.

You can read more about what happened plus read Allison's trip report in her Livejournal. Unfortunately the break happened on her writing hand, which will make the next six weeks a challenge for her. Please do send her healing thoughts!

Here's what her handwriting looks like when she tries using her other hand:



Hee hee! I shouldn't laugh, but it's pretty cute. Any guesses on what the item second from the bottom is supposed to be?

A. & I were also thinking that it was good that Urban Tapestry has no gigs coming up for a while! Looks like our next music convention together won't be until next year's FilKONtario.

Anyway, please do send healing vibes at Allison!

MiG Writers Update: Middle Grade versus Young Adult Fiction

For those who write for young people, I've posted about the differences between Middle Grade (MG) and Young Adult (YA) fiction in the MiG Writers' site.

Interview with Seanan McGuire

I recently interviewed the multi-talented Seanan McGuire on Inkygirl about her novel, ROSEMARY AND RUE, which debuts September 1st!