Looking for Norm Brown

In eighth grade, a boy named Norm Brown gave me my first kiss.

It was Valentine's Day, and even though Norm gave every other girl a peck on the cheek as well, I know that MY kiss was extra-special! I've mentioned my secret childhood crush before, and often wondered whatever happened to that charming young lad.

I mentioned Norm to my British friends, Mich, Marilisa and Simon, and the diagram above is Marilisa's helpful suggestion about where Norm Brown is today.

The discussion got me thinking, though...surely I'll be able to track down Norm Brown online! A Google search for his name, however, was disheartening: 1,330,000 results. BUT WAIT! I looked more closely at the first page of results, and found the following:

Twitter, for those not familiar with the site, is a free service where users can post updates about where they are and what they're doing. I eagerly checked out this Norm Brown's Twitter page, of course. Here are some excerpts:

Calculating the trajectory of Comet Brown (2007 B10) which appears to be about to destroy the earth in May 2007.

Refusing to return Sting's frantic phone messages begging me to accompany The Police on reunion tour.

Finding the cure to cancer.

Polishing off my 9th symphony during breaks from writing my thesis on the finer bits of the Relativity Theory that Einstein got wrong.

Trying to point out three critical design flaws in ITER, but they just won't listen.

Raised Einstein from the dead to tell him of the flaws, but forgot his brain's in a jar elsewhere. Still, good photo op & puppetry practice.

Feeding the world.

Got another fat royalty cheque from the mathematicians for the use of my invention, the "norm".

Ceremonial first pitch at Yankee stadium. Manager so impressed I pitched the rest of the game too. I didn't know no-hitters were so easy.

Building an antigravity ray in order to deflect Comet Brown (2007 B10). Where to find a large enough diamond crystal?

Stringing this ethernet cable to the top of Everest was inconvenient, but satellite just doesn't meet my bandwidth needs.

Dalai Lama called me with a spiritual crisis (again). Was able to sort him out, and he went away at one with everything.

Taught myself how to play theremin last night.

Oh shoot! Lost that cancer cure. Kicking myself for wasting a good 20 minutes this morning!

Had phone conference with Greg Beeman about my upcoming guest spot in Heroes. Looking forward to seeing my old chum, Masi Oka!

FInished going through list of composers' unfinished symphonies and completed them over breakfast. Schubert's 8th = esp good.

Knitting myself a cardigan.

Put off answering phone call from Jamie Oliver saying he wants to use my lasagne recipe. I wish he'd do his own work.

At performance of Shakespeare's Hamlet, I went on stage and revived cast using my CPR training so a happy ending was enjoyed by all.

Had spare time at end of woodworking class, so made a cello. Felt a bit silly but luckily have sold it to Yo-Yo Ma.

Theremin concert went well last night. Called up Yo-Yo Ma as a special surprise guest for the encore. Cello sounded awesome.

Maggie Gyllenhaal called to thank me for the cardigan. Says she loved my script and is totally on board for my emu documentary. Score!

Was contacted by JJ Abrams about playing Captain Kirk in the upcoming Star Trek reboot. I told him I was flattered, but no...

Brushing up on my Icelandic - my preaspirated voiceless stops are getting way rusty.

Must remember *not* to interfere with historical events, no matter how tempted; nor to take advantage of them, either.

Set Stallman straight on a few points. There are only dozens now, but eventually the GPL will save billions of uploaded lives.

Transposing Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 24 in C Minor (K. 491) into F# minor.

In thanks for a homemade cardigan, Yo-Yo Ma gave me a free cello lesson last night. Ran thru a Minsky cello duet by end of lesson. Fun!

Glad Laura took my suggestion and went white tie for Liz; wish I'd had time to pop in on the do myself and keep an eye on George for her.

Just got back from conferring with the US Congress about changing the electoral college system, glad they went with my suggestions this time.

Just got first preliminary royalty check back from when I ghost-wrote Harry Potter 7 - that sure was a day well spent!

I'm advising Al Gore about living green. I myself live off the grid 100% and grow my own food.

Antigravity solved - comet deflected - humanity saved - and that clogged eavestrough is cleaned out now too!

Finshed quantum holographic memory USB key prototype. Only 52 petabytes though. Was hoping for closer to 2 exabytes. Maybe next week.

The England cricket team now begging me to play for them. Still not sure I can help them *and* be Canadian captain in the Rugby World Cup.

Tired of this physical body. Downloaded my consciousness to the net. (That should also help my "correct all of Wikipedia" schedule)



Without a doubt, this must be THE Norm Brown I've been looking for! He's as much of an inspiration now as he was back then, and I'm enjoying reading about his current exploits. If you're curious, you can read about him, too:

http://twitter.com/normbrown

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