tsunami

Amanda and Zoë reading one of Ruth's books earlier this year.

Thanks *so* much for the Blatherchat and Livejournal support in response to yesterday's Blathering, everyone. I was feeling somewhat freaked about the incident; reading your posts helped.

Makes me more determined to take a self-defense course next year. I had resolved to do so this year, but an elbow sprain and resulting tendinitis setback early on nixed that idea.

By the way, I've resolved not to make any New Year's Resolutions this year except for the resolution not to make resolutions. I also know I still owe some of you Special Prizes for posting resolutions last year; you will get them eventually, I promise. And no, that's not an official resolution. :-)

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I've been following the coverage of the tsunami disaster. 116,000 dead so far. The number is beyond comprehension for me. Even one death is tragic, forever affecting the lives of the people who cared about that one person...trying to imagine the number of loved ones affected by this tragedy is heartbreaking.

Amanda, Scott, and Zoë went to the Canadian Red Cross yesterday to donate funds to tsunami relief. From Amanda: "We are encouraging everyone we know to do the same. $1, $5, $10. It all adds up!"

For any who wish to help, here's a partial list of organizations posted on the CNN site. Also, Amazon.com currently enables users to donate directly to the American Red Cross to help in the evacuation of survivors and distribution of first aid (thanks to Mary Ellen Wessels for the heads up).

As some of you know, Arthur C. Clarke lives in Sri Lanka, one of the areas affected by the tsunami. The sf author and family are fine; here's a letter he posted yesterday.

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Too paranoid?

I've never been attacked or mugged, but I've heard enough stories in the media that I generally try to be smart about personal safety without obsessing about it. I avoid walking through empty alleys and areas in the city at night if I'm alone, for example, and try to stay aware of my surroundings.

After what happened earlier this evening, however, I'm torn between feeling incredibly naive/unprepared and the fear that I'm way too paranoid.

Around 10:30 pm, I was heading home after spending some time at my sister's place. I'm lucky enough to live very close to a subway station (at least until we move :-)). Usually I take the direct route out of the subway station onto the street. Because of the cold, this time I decided to take a slightly longer but warmer route that took me through part of an underground passage connecting two shopping malls.

I found myself walking behind a man (medium build, looked like he was in his mid-30s, scruffy hair and clothing) carrying a large rucksack; two other people were a ways ahead of him. I barely registered the fact when the couple went through the doors ahead, but definitely noticed the man just ahead of me stopping as soon as the couple had disappeared, and turning around to face me.

"Are you familiar with the downtown area?" he asked.

Thinking he was just going to ask for directions, I cautiously replied, "Sort of. Why?"

He then launched into a long and rambling story about how he had just arrived in the city and wasn't familiar with the area and that he was planning to visit some relatives in Ottawa but found out he needed to take a bus bla bla bla.

The "bla bla bla" was me tuning out of his conversation because I suddenly realized that the guy had dropped his rucksack and was walking slowly towards me, fumbling in his pocket and pulling out some id to show me (perhaps to prove he wasn't homeless?).

I slowly started backing away and interrupted his story to ask politely but firmly what he wanted. Instead of telling me the point of his story, he continued his rambling but kept moving closer to me as well as glancing up and down the empty hallway.

The combination of the last two factors set off alarm bells in my head and I belatedly realized that I had put myself in a position where IF I screamed for help, it was unlikely anyone was going to hear me.

I immediately interrupted him again and said, "I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you don't tell me what you want" and with heart pounding, walked quickly around and past him, ready to break into a run if I heard him coming after me.

"Fine!" he yelled after me angrily. "Just forget it, then!"

A moment later I was up on the street, wondering if I was being overly paranoid.

In retrospect, I realize I should have asked him right away to stop moving towards me. I should also have looked more closely at his id to get his name (though that would have meant moving within arm's reach, which I wanted to avoid). And instead of going past him, I should have simply retraced my steps and gone immediately back to the main subway station, where I knew there were people. But most importantly, I should have not been a wimp about the cold and taken the safe route instead of the warm one.

But y'know, at the same time, I also feel guilty. What if the stranger's actions were perfectly innocent and he really did need help?

To you women out there: What would you have done in my situation? (other than not putting yourself in that situation)

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post-Christmas

I'm sitting in Jeff's home office, which I'm sharing until we move in a couple of weeks. It's nearly 8 pm and pretty dead outside in downtown Toronto. White Christmas lights drape the trees in Metro Square, and I can see the lights of the Paramount Imax/Chapters corner beckoning. I'm half-considering going to see a movie tonight, but I'm more tempted to stay inside where it's warm and cozy, curl up on the couch with a good book (Ruth bought me Jonathan Stroud's The Golem's Eye) and a cup of licorice tea.

A Christmas compilation CD is playing on my laptop (thanks, Parki!) and I find myself a bit melancholy this evening, looking out the window and knowing that no matter what house we end up buying, we'll never be able to have a view of the city like the one we have now.

At the same time, I'm looking forward to the change of a residential neighbourhood, a bigger home office, maybe even a small garden where I can inadvertently torture innocent herbs and occasional flower.

I had a good Christmas, enjoyed familyholidaystuff. I've uploaded a few photos to Flickr, and you can also click on the photos today for more info. I'm enjoying reading over blog reports of other people's holiday weekends, finding out about different family rituals.

I am way behind in e-mail, by the way, thanks for your patience. Hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend!

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trillium spa & resort

Outside, a damp, cold fog has settled over the city of Toronto. It's the kind of weather that chills to the bone, makes you yearn for a cozy blanket and mug of hot tea in front of a crackling fireplace.

Things have been somewhat stressful for Jeff and me lately, so we decided to take 24 hours and make a quick trip up to Muskoka for some R&R. We opted for The Trillium Resort & Spa, a lakeside resort with cottages surrounded by 68 acres of forest. The photo further down the page was our cottage; click to enlarge.

We both did some reading and napping, and I had a reflexology and Swedish massage treatment at the spa. Jeff's not a spa person; I definitely am. I love the peaceful atmosphere, sipping herbal teas and browsing magazines (I opted for my poetry book) in a cushy armchair in my white terrycloth robe in front of the fireplace for my treatment.

I was trying to figure out why I like massages so much. It's partly because I have them so rarely, so they're a special treat. Partly because they feel so great, leaving me pleasantly wobbly and relaxed afterward, and the physical contact is comforting. But a big part of it is the relief in giving myself up completely to the ministrations of someone else, in a safe environment.

In order to properly enjoy a massage, you have to be able to completely let go of self-conscious worrying ("Dear lord, I don't want him/her to see my flabby thighs!"), to be willingly manipulated and kneaded like a lump of helpless dough. If you tense up, it won't be nearly as pleasant a experience. Ironic that it can be so liberating to be so completely submissive.

Anyway, I tried reflexology for the first time. A nice fellow named Jack worked on my feet for 50 minutes. I hate my feet, so it was VERY hard at first, fighting the urge to yank my feet away so he wouldn't notice my calloused heels, the lack of pampering and polish. But then it started feeling so great I forgot about being self-conscious and let myself melt into footrub-induced euphoria.

After Jack finished with me, Jeff (not my Jeff, another Jeff) took over. It was one of the best massages I've ever had, and asked if Jeff ever worked in Toronto. He laughed and told me they'd have to pay him a LOT of money to leave Muskoka for Toronto. Sigh.

Felt wonderfully relaxed after and could barely pull on my winter clothes to wobble back to our cabin, where I found my Jeff stretched out on the couch in the living room, napping. I made a brief attempt at reading my book but fell asleep on the other couch after only a few minutes.

The visit was way too short but did us both good.

Session tunes update (tunes I've learned so far):
The Swallow Tail, The Donegal Reel, The Galway Rambler, Cooley's Reel, The Boyne Hunt, The Sligo Maid, Drowsy Maggie, Ms. McLeod's Reel, The Green Groves Of Erin, The Bank of Ireland, working on The Earl's Chair.

My letter of the day (thanks, Morgan!): "I totally feel for you in your 'anticipation' comic from Life in a Nutshell. However, geeks are the best. Love your comics, both of them. Also, saw you at the Gathering, Urban Tapestry rocks! Thanks for giving me geek pride." Also see Allison's comment on my Nutshell strip yesterday. Allison, of course, is the redhead in the comic. :-)

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Poll: morning rituals

Sitting here in Jeff's office at 6:45 am, watching the city wake up. In Metro Hall, offices are lighting up, one at a time, as early birds arrive. Undoubtedly some of them are peering across the street at me, sitting here in my bathrobe and bed-messy hair, wondering.

I love this time of the morning; I love mornings in general. I am SO not a night person. My head gets fuzzy late at the night; I move more slowly, don't want to think, prefer curling up on a couch with a cup of tea and a good book.

Jeff's the opposite. Early in our relationship, we barely saw each other for a while when I started working as a programmer/analyst at TD and he was still in school. I'd wake up and go to work before he was up, would start getting sleepy at night just as he was moving into his most productive time.

Somehow we both managed to find a compromise, but we still have our favourite times of the day. I try very hard not to talk to him too much the first two hours after he's woken up; his sister used to call him "Mr. Grumpypants" in the morning when we shared a house with her. In return, Jeff tries to remember that my brain pretty much shuts off after 10 pm. My friend Michelle also discovered this when we co-wrote our first short story; Michelle is VERY much a night person. :-)

POLL: What's your morning ritual?

My typical morning ritual:

- Wake up at 6:30 or 7 a.m.

- Make myself a cup of tea.

- Go to the computer and check e-mail, work on my daily Market Watch column (please note that non-subscribers will only be able to see two listings). If the column goes well, I sometimes do Blatherings as well, else I leave Blatherings for later in the day.

- If Jeff's up, I take a shower and get dressed. One of the problems with our apartment is that you can only access the master bathroom through the bedroom, so I usually wait so I don't wake Jeff up with shower noise. Though working at home has the advantage that I need less time in the bathroom: my morning grooming ritual consists of washing my hair and letting it air-dry, putting on some moisturizer. No make-up, no hairdryer, and I usually wear track pants and a t-shirt during my workday.

- Have breakfast while watching Breakfast Television, a CityTV show which covers news, weather, and interesting things happening in Toronto that day. Jeff and I were on the show about twelve years ago when I won a Valentines' Day contest. It also involved having to be in the studio at 6:30 am; you can imagine how excited Jeff was about this.

- My typical breakfast: low-fat yogurt and a piece of fruit, sometimes cereal with soy milk, sometimes eggs (over easy) with toast. I often have two mini-breakfasts (just like a hobbit), one early in the morning, one late morning.

- Back to the computer to write. Sometimes I'll take my laptop and work offline in a coffeeshop or library.

So what about the rest of you? Morning person or night person? If you have a partner, are they the same or opposite? What's your morning ritual?

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