letters to my brother


I took this photo yesterday morning.
Tomorrow (Friday), it will have been eleven years since my brother and his wife died in a car accident on the way to a camping trip. While browsing an old cottage guestbook, I found a short note written by Jim and Diane. I remember Jeff and I taking them to Adaskin's Bay, how we drifted in canoes and talked for a while.
Shortly after he and Diane died, I started writing letters to him on my computer. I knew he would never read them, but it was good therapy, or so I told myself at first. I cried a lot while I wrote them, and eventually realized that I found little comfort in the process. So I stopped.
I could write those letters now, I think, but I no longer need to. I don't think about Jim all the time but he's always with me, if that makes any sense. His life and death are both an inextricable part of my life now, have shaped me into the person I am...my tribute to my brother, and his gift to me.
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