parenthood

Jeff and I are never going to have children. This is by choice.

When I was much younger and living in the suburbs, I had always assumed that I'd get married and have children; that seemed to be the way of life at the time, where my family lived.

As I made my way through high school years, I realized that marriage was not an inevitability, particularly since I had pretty much zero interest in the opposite sex and they in me. I felt like I had my face pressed against the glass, watching everyone else in my school live normal lives, dating each other, graduating from high school and getting married, having children.

I finally started dating in university (cool computer geeks! hey, maybe boys aren't so dull after all). University was also a good influence on me in that I also began thinking outside the carefully-outlined circle that was my set of childhood preconceptions and expectations. I realized that when I felt like I was peering through a glass wall at all my "normal" classmates, they were the ones inside the box, not me.

When Jeff and I chose to get married, there was a strong expectation that we'd start having children. People would even ask when it would happen, a question I found somewhat rude at first but then learned to answer directly: "We're not going to have any."

In general, after the questioner established the fact that we could have children if we wanted to, the initial reaction to this answer was one of shock. Sometimes disappointment, sometimes even anger. How dare we not have children? They regarded our decision as a personal insult to their own. Were we children-haters? Some tried arguing, saying that we'd feel differently if the children were our own.

I was always amused by that argument. Of course I'd feel differently if a child was my own. If I made the decision to have children, then it would mean that I had decided to make that commitment, and would take that commitment seriously.

Jeff and I have made the decision not to have children. Just to clarify: I love children. I adore my nieces and nephew, enjoy getting to know the children of my friends. At the end of the day or weekend, however, I like to be able to hand back your infants and children and go back to my cluttered but creative hidey-hole of an office and re-immerse myself in my writing.

Until I get another hankering to change diapers, that is.

:-)

Speaking of which, I'm finally healthy enough to get back to work on my writing today, woohoo!





Links to pass the time:

From Harald Koch on Blatherchat this morning: "Do you know about No Kidding, the social club for childless and childfree singles and couples? They've been getting a lot of media attention lately. Personally, I think the club is a great idea. I have some issues with their spokespeople, but that's a rant I'll leave for another day..."

Even e-mail using PGP encryption could be descrambled, according to this SeattlePI.com story

As a result of the frequent commuting I did between Toronto and Philadelphia during my brief Xlibris stint, I'm a US Airways elite member and have several upgrade coupons. Don't know if I'll ever have a chance to use them, however, with US Airways filing for bankruptcy yesterday.

Toilet paper algorithms: toilet paper scientists?

EOnline has an article about the possible resurrection of "Davey & Goliath". Remember that old stop-motion animated show? Daaaveeey....

About to forward that amazing e-mail story to a friend? Before you do, you might want to check if its a hoax by running keywords through purportal.com.

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Today's Blatherpics:

	When Jeff and I took Ginny to Takesushi for her 65th birthday, a little Asian girl kept smiling at us through the slats in the divider wall between us and the next table.
	Ginny and Jeff at Takesushi on Front Street.