clones

So I finally saw Attack of the Clones. My full review (which is not pretty) is after the next Blatherphoto. There are spoilers in it, so only read that far if you've already seen the movie.

Attack of the Clones

I went in with pretty low expectations, so probably didn't dislike this as much as other people. Didn't love it, either.

What bugged me most about the movie was the wooden acting of Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. Okay, I know the Star Wars series isn't famous for its fine acting. But at least the earlier movies (before The Phantom Menace, that is) had a certain level of emotional honesty; you couldn't help but care about the characters. Luke Skywalker was naive and bumbling, but you found yourself rooting for him anyway. Leia's and Han's characters each had a strong enough personality to convey a fairly convincing love-hate romantic relationship.

It probably didn't help that Portman and Christensen had such a wooden dialogue to work with.

"When we're together, I'm in pain," he tells her in what is supposed to be a romantic scene by the fireplace in her summer getaway. In the movie theatre, I felt like yelling, "YEAH, ME TOO!"

I am a sucker for true love and romance. In books (no, I'm not talking Harlequin), music, movies. I'll be captivated by the sappiest television commercial if it has a moment or two of believable romance. One of my favourite commercials starts off with a woman bending over to give a casual kiss to her husband or boyfriend as he sits at a table. She smiles, he smiles back. The kiss itself is in slow-motion, but the shot is done so well that I can't help but feel a little heart-skip and sigh at the moment their lips meet. I think the commercial was for ham steaks or something equally as inspirational.

You can all stop gagging now. My point is that I'm one of the easiest people for movie directors to emotionally manipulate. Attack of the Clones, however, left me apathetic about the characters. Or rather, irritated.

There was utterly no spark of chemistry between Portman and Christensen, and no explanation about why her character would fall so heavily for such a whiny, immature Jedi-wannabe. If either of them had show more emotional depth, it would have helped. In Spiderman, there was no clear explanation (in the movie, not the comic) why Peter Parker fell so heavily for MJ, but Tobey MaGuire did such a great job at conveying the whole "teenage yearning angst" that I found myself believing it anyway.

Christensen's character shows some faint glimmerings of pre-Darth Vader bad guy darkness, but he has such a long way to go that I can't imagine how the third movie is going to get his character to the point where you could believe he becomes Darth Vader. I think the only way they could pull it off would be if they found another actor. Does anyone know if this is the case for the third movie?

The special effects and the scenery were spectacular, of course. I felt like I was in a highly polished and live-action Myst game, with one breathtakingly impressive computer-generated scene following another. For me, however, believeable and sympathetic characters are the most important.

Stuff I did like:

- Jedi arena fighting.

- Natalie Portman's costumes. To keep myself interested in her character appearances, I was more curious about seeing what new outfit she was going to wear in the next scene. I had no idea that galactic Senators had such extensive wardrobes.

- Seeing Yoda with a light saber! Woohoo!! Jeff can attest (with some embarrassment, I'm sure) that I actually did yell "WOOHOO!" during that scene in the movie.

Would I see this movie again? Nope, especially not at current ticket prices. It cost $27 for two tickets (!). Jeff used the automated machine at the Paramount to buy our tickets. When the total came up on the screen and said "OK?" he paused so long in shock (thinking, "No, definitely NOT OK!") that his session expired and he had to swipe his card again.

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Today's Blatherpics:

...were taken by Jeff during our walk/run late yesterday afternoon. I wanted to run, and Jeff wanted to get some fresh air, so we decided to combine our efforts. He walked super-fast, and I ran more slowly than usual; I said earlier that I ran at about the same speed as Jeff's walking, but I was either mistaken or I've sped up a bit over the past couple of months.