turning 40

My Life In A Nutshell updated

I've had several people ask me how I feel about turning 40 (my birthday's on March 29th). Sometimes they ask me out of friendly curiosity, but sometimes they'll ask me in tones usually reserved for someone who is very ill in the hospital, or as if speaking too energetically could cause me to keel over in shock.

I won't lie and say there's not a twinge when I think about having to write a "4" at the beginning of my age when filling out forms. I went through the same twinge when I turned 30. It will take a bit of adjustment to get used to being "a woman in her 40s", a phrase which definitely evokes a different image than "a woman in her 30s". And I can no longer evade the fact that I definitely fall into the "middle-aged" category now.

Weird thing is, I don't feel like I'm turning 40, or at least I don't accept all the social stigma baggage that usually comes with the age. I'm happier now than I was when I was 20 or 30. I have a healthier lifestyle and am more fit than when I was 30. I'm more confident about myself; I have a much clearer idea of what I want out of life, and how to get what I want.

I've been through many life-altering experiences, both good and bad. To name just a few: I've seen my mother dying, my niece Annie being born, lived through the nightmare after my brother's and his wife's sudden deaths. Had boyfriends, found Jeff, have been married for ten years. Had my first book published, sold a company I started from scratch, experienced the wild rollercoaster ride of the dot-com mania.

I used to think that I could never truly be a writer until I lived enough of life to have something to write about. I have enough material now :-\, but that doesn't mean I'm going to settle down and stick with what I have so far. There's still far too much to see and do. Whenever I hear people whine about being bored in life, I feel like shaking them until their teeth rattle...what are they thinking?

I want to be like the Auntie Moira in the song I co-wrote with Jodi (you can hear the MP3 here, under "Sex and Chocolate"). I fully plan to live until I'm the ripe old age of 105, fiercely embracing every moment of life along the way. I know it means there's likely a whole lot more heartache eventually heading my way, but the good will outweigh the bad in the end, and I'd rather have the whole package than sit in a quiet little corner somewhere, clinging to the safe and familiar.

And I've told Jeff to shoot me if I ever start wearing pink polyester.

Today's Blatherpic:

Celebrating my birthday with Ruth and Jim - get a load of my chic paisley shirt. As a child, I never had birthday parties (the kind where you invite friends from school, have loot bags, etc.), but I also don't remember ever feeling ripped off. Maybe I just sensed that my Mom wasn't comfortable planning that sort of thing when I was little; she probably never had them as a child in Japan. My first non-family birthday celebration happened in my first year of university, when my friends threw a surprise party for me at the Old Spaghetti Factory in downtown Toronto.